Today was like every other monday. SLOW. School was eh.. got annoyed here and there, didn't want to talk to anybody much. Last night watched paranormal activity and got scared. >_> turned off everything that made a sound because I was super paranoid. Even this morning, I was too scared to lift the blanket off my head. Woke up at 6, realized that Jowe wasn't home and I was home ALONE. I was scared shitless, made myself get up with all lights on and get ready. LOL Got myself some coffee, went to class, went to work. Stupid work. There was an old guy that was trying to get to some free food by bullshiting me and trying to get me in trouble. He told me that he had a call in order that he was for sure that it was my voice. (EVEN THOUGH, he pointed out earlier that, he wasnt sure that it was me or ms. oh) grr.. anyways, he helped up a huge line during rush hour trying to get food, then was being indecisive about what to eat, cause he forgot his own order apparently. Whatever Ms. oh took care of it. I was pissed at him for even trying to put the blame on me about not taking care of business. THAT FUCK. I dont care if your old or not, YOU fuck with me, YOU DONE. BLEH. okay enough of that, got home and went straight to bed. Got a good nap, sweating though (I might be getting sick). Went to my second job. Tired, didnt want to even work there. Such an unhappy place. Worked with Evelyn and Mariana so it wasn't that bad. Was suppose to get off at 9 instead got off at 11 because mariana was closing. >_<>_> i dunno how to deal with the situation. Its about "him", im a part of it. But mainly its because he feels like hes not going anywhere. I feel like I have no freedom and i try my best to hang out with everyone, but im always caught at the wrong time. To him, he probably feels that im choosing my friends over him. To him, he probably feels that all I care about is working and getting bank. To him, he doesnt realize that im working my ass off because I want to give him the best. I understand that he wants me to relax, yes I do. But I have a debt to pay. I need to take care of business before I can juss sit down and chill out. Being in debt, stressing me over soo much more than anything and its the same towards him. Shit, he even blamed me as a cause of him spending soo much money. Saying that he spends too much money on me. How is that suppose to make me feel? So this is my plan, I work. TILL I DIE. I save up as much money as I can for myself AFTER. I pay him back his grand so he'd be happy. and whenever we do see each other. NO MORE compromising when it comes to money. I dont want him to feel like he needs to spoil me, and obviously he doesnt care if I spoil him. We're on our own. As much as I hate, being separated like this. I realized that money can tear us apart. So US and money dont match. He lends me money, He says he spoils me too much. I buy him things and spoil him? He doesnt see it. Or he might appreciate it, but he always says that he has done more things for me than I ever do for him. I guess I am a bad girlfriend. but to this point, I feel like im doing something good for myself, and I want to be with him still, but I just dont feel appreciated. if thats the case, I will become busier and we'll see what happens later in life. He says, he feels like he has no goals in life. Maybe if we were separated he wouldnt have to worry about me, he can worry about himself first before he can start caring for others. Im stuck in that point, im trying to take care of myself and im trying to take careof him as well. but the more he wants, the more I feel like failure because I can't give it to him.
Today, I was hella clumsy and out of it >_< . Probably because I haven't had enough sleep. I was knocking things over and messing up a couple of orders at work. Dammit, Not cool. Didn't go to my sociology class this morning, found out we actually have homework due. Doesn't matter though, its not a big problem for me. Slept in, since I had to go to work at 3:30-11:00. Grabbed some coffee at 7eleven. Yum. Best domo coffee ever. Anyways, dropped jack off at school and went to work. Got off at 1:45. Got dressed at school & hung out before I had to go back to work. Today was pretty kick back not too crazy. I was working with francisco & Claudia and Mariana today. Francisco wasn't really on my ass as much as he use to, pretty laid back actually. I was on table for most of the time then switched off to doing dishes for three hours. Till now my fingers are still all wrinkly and old looking. >_>. Right now i should be doing my homework, but instead I wanna blog out my day. Relieve some stress. Thank you michael for giving me a quick massage. It helped out a lot. LOL I NEED MORE! xD Thanks ced for the quesidilla. It was yummie. After work had to go to walmart to grab a couple things then went home and now im on here. Oh yeah. at work olga was in and out of the store. had no idea what was going on but yeah. She wanted to talk to me about my schedule, I told her everything was fine of whatever she was setting up with. I made a complaint about carmen today, she told me to talk to her, but to watch my words since carmen takes it up the ass pretty bad. >< how am I ever able to talk this through to carmen? Jeez, I guess ill juss have to find a right time to do it. Probably after 9 when shes about to leave or something. I hate it when she rushes me and do all these things. it pisses me off. Olga told me that she does it to everyone, but jeez shes gotta stop if its pissing everyone off. Not good. Welps, I owe cedric a passion fruit drink since I lost a bet. lol. Im sleepy, but must get work done.
*sighs* I can finally sit for once. >_< costume ="]">_>. I wished he could live with me. I spent the weekend over in Santa Rosa with him. Fun stuff, we didn't do anything extrodinary just small stuff. We switched his car all stock again, and I cleaned out my dirty ass car. Had a nice dinner with the fam bam. They didn't give me shit for once. ITS AMAZING. I had a nice time, but i'm not planning to abuse it. I bet that if i come down every weekend, they'll turn back to their old ways and treat me like crap again. NOT DEALING WITH IT. I've been watching everything that i've been eating. I don't drink anything besides water or juice. Food wise? I'm already picky as it is, so theres not worry there. Managers at stockton grill & burger are like my 2nd parents. They worry about me (makes me feel kinda loved in a way) lol. OFF SUBJECT! Okay. well today, my first job was slow but it was good. Comon' its a monday. I got off bought jack some lunch since he got really sick =[. Hope he feels better. I got myself some lunch and ate. Dressed up for my 2nd job. Worked. I didn't have to deal with carmen today yay! I thought she was gonna come in around 4:30. I was thinking shit, my day was going so good, now its gonna be all fucked up. Francisco came in instead. Isn't that bad. but still bad. I was thinking to myself that he was gonna keep me in for closing. >_< DU ma. it was the opposite though, he let me out around 9:30. Whoot! I started sneezing out of nowhere and all the mexicans that worked inside of mcdonalds were teasing me of that I got the h1n1. LOL MOFOS the only reason why I got it, cause you guys spread it over to me! xD I SO MEAN. lol anyways, fall is here and my allergies act up more than ever around this time. This is worse than spring, so I gotta stock up on my allergy medicine before people start freaking out pointing fingers that I'm some kinda of disease machine. I'm home now, I should be starting on my english homework,but oh hell. Im hella lazy right now. My mind is wandering. FUN FACT!!! I DROPPED OUT OF HISTORY! YAY!!!!!!!!!!! =]=]=]=]=] THAT BITCH IS GAYY! HMPF. John I loved your gummy bears. I ate it like a beast lol. okay i do homework now.
Finally got outta my bed today, its both phu and I's 2yrs & 8 months anniversary today. Last night, we went out to grab a midnight snack at Mcdonalds. LOL geez, that place is everywhere. I was a lot happier going to a Mcdonalds where I didn't know anybody. No connection. For the past week, things been bugging me and pissing me off. Work isn't really as bad as I think it is. Just the people. Got in trouble friday >_> Right when I told cedric that carmen was on my ass, I think shes gonna hold a grudge on me forever now. Sandra was right in front of me when I said it out loud. Sandra is somewhat related to carmen and everyone told me to not say anything in front of her. Snitches are bitches. lol Anyways, My other job is doing okay, I feel bad that the managers don't trust kimber with taking a whole shift to herself. Imma try to help her out. Umm my condition? No idea whats gonna happen. Can't really go to the doctors right now, so I guess I'm stuck. Just gotta save up money and what not. As for "him", I understand that hes trying to keep his distance from me, but replacing his additude with me isn't gonna make anything better. Gimme me smart remarks are just gonna ending up making me hate you and not wanna be your friend anymore. Acting smart with me is practically insulting me. Its a big DUH that i dont like people who disrespect me. Espeacially at work. Messing with me one on one is one thing, but not in public when im at work when impressions are everything. I'm already to a point of being tired of you. This connection between us has gone to its limits. I'd like it better if we just stayed quittances. I understand that I changed you, but from what you say it is, its not a good change. Kris and tam had their fair share of blaming things on me towards their parents. I knew you were on lock down because of how you were changing, but I don't want to be at fault. When you told me that it was because of me thats why you were changing, I should of been feeling happy that you have a social life and that your happier this way. But instead I felt bad, knowing that you weren't taking care or your own business and taking care of yourself. Because of me. You were one of my biggest stress factors for this whole month. Hopefully everything will turn out for the bettter between us.
END.
New subject: PHU LIED TO ME! I took these two days off so we can go to frisco. >_<>_>..... So parents and I would split 50/50. Its not gonna happen. I'm going to pay for the whole thing I already know it. Whatever, another thing that would stress the fuck outta me. I'm not gonna get myself into it. Just let them do whatever. *sighs* I feel like everyone is walking all over me. What I need is space, not for everyone to grope all over me.
It's really late at night and i'm a mess. =[ Got done finish talking with my parents about my medical problem. No Help. They came to conclusions. STUPID conclusions blaming them on things that has nothing to do with what's going on in my body. I'm sick. To a point where anything can happen to me. Parents care? Yes, they do. Will they try to help me? No. I told them that whatever is going on with me started back in Junior year and I've BEEN asking them to get insurance for the longest time, but they were too cheap to do so. Until NOW, when things get at its worse. They complained that I didn't persuade them enough to get insurance or some bullshit. Blaming my conditon on akuma saying he's dirty (STUPID). Anyways, I'm really fed up. I got papers to write and I can't even do so knowing how stupid my parents can get. I guess my treatment will have to wait a couple of years when I can save up enough to help myself through this hellhole.
Morning: Woke up this morning around 6:00am. Ugh. Struggle to get out of bed, took a shower and left. Called olga from work to remind her to not make me a closer on mondays, since I have school. >_<. Crazy beezie. Went to sociology felt like shit. Left 20 mins early, went back into the parking lot. Slept in my car until 10:20 to go to work. >_> Felt really sick, called olga back and she told me that it was required for me to grab a doctors note to excuse me from my absence. WTF?! really? only one day of work and I need a doctors note? Shit, We''re asians. asians don't go to doctors we become doctors. We depend our life on tylenol and advil LOL.
Afternoon: It was ridiculous. Called jowe, pissed off asked him for a 2nd opinon of what I should do. Went to my first job, it was coo. Slow business cause of the holiday. Ate some sushi that Mr. oh got me =] yee! Watched some bleach got ready for my 2nd and decided to take the shift. It was only 5 hours, I think I can manage. Plus, I did feel a little better than I did in the morning. Went to work and took a look at my new schedule. COOL! I got the days that I wanted off! BAD! I work ALL next week (school days) >_>. FUCCN GAY. I mean its kewl that she wants me to have my full hours and all, but damn. Gimme a break. Had Evelyn and Francisco working with me today. *sighs* Evelyn is kewl, hella understanding of where im coming from. Francisco? Not so much. He was on table with me for a while, but I was practically bymyself cause he kept walking off doing who knows what. actually he was just walking around talking to other people. Jeez I was pretty pissed off. Told evelyn that she migh tbe transfered to the other mcdonalds. She was pissed lol. But I told her it wasn't a for sure thing. lol I thought she knew. LOL maybe it was a rumor just going around. Well. I found out that Olga(store manager) isn't liked by anybody. AT ALL. they all called her a 2 face. All Bad. Two other people, sandra and someone else that I had to stay away from and tell them NOTHING since their related to Carmen. (the bitch that never lets me leave) Treats me like shit. HMPF. Anyways.....
Evening/Now: Finally got home from work. Both jobs today >_>. Well I got home actually pretty early today, at least earlier than usual. I got home around 9 o'clock tore off my uniform lol. I hate wearing that thing. Looked over my homework due tomorrow. Struggled with jowe's stupid printer that he adores. >_< I really want to throw that thing out the window. I bought ink for my other printer that Phu got me a while back. I can't wait till the ink comes in. No more Jowe's Printer. lol. Damn that thing, I hate finishing my homework late at night and spending an extra hour and hour and a half trying to print out a simple page of work. Thats the time I could be spending sleeping ya know? Talking to phu at the moment. Missing him like no tomorrow. Decorated my name tag for working finally. Loved what cedric got me for me. hehee. =]
Today, I actually had fun working at mcdonalds. yee! =p. Got let off pretty early. I got three managers that im liking so far. I don't mind if they yell at me. the one thing that i hate the most is when he expect me to do 5 different things all at once. At least the managers today apologized when they realized I only have two arms and two legs. lol. Got to slap tuan with a snack wrapper. =] Got to handle my business on the table. I can work with the speed. Got to know a little bit more about the coworkers there. Got to hang out with John before work. He told me he went 65 down calvine and he said he would never speed again. >_> sadly, I drive 65 all the time down calvine. HAHA.. horrible me. I didn't say anything to him though LOL. I got my milktea. made my day a whole bunch better. Right now, im my room talking to phu and writing this thing. Waiting on jack so we all can go to Crestview tonight. YAY! Bowling, something that I haven't done in hella long. I can't wait. Got work at two tomorrow ugh!
Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio
taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written."
My odometer just rolled over to 90, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends
and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past, so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their
journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry;
God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you, really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood.. But the second
one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take
no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.
Don't save it for a special occasion.. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words : 'In five
years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you, is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time,, time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything
you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children, get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end, is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,
we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, "but it's still a gift."
This monday sucked balls. Forreal though. Anyways, this morning woke up cold as fuck. Didn't want to get outta bed till 7:30. Got ready got to school to find out that my class was cancelled. I rushed through traffic and everything! >_<. Gayy, good thing that class was cancelled cause later on My coworker tells me that she's sick and she wanted me to cover her shift. No problem right? BUT! i had work at my other place at 4. Her shift doesn't end till 5. Du ma. So I tried calling my other work place about 5 times, the calls wouldn't go through. Damn them. But when I did get a hold of them it was all kewl. SO no worries. the only thing was bothering me was that I won't have time to finish up my homework for tomorrow. that stressed me the hell out. To find out that after I was done with my first shift, heading towards my other job. I came there around 5:30 . at the time that I said I was going to arrive at. I was suppose to be working 4-9 today. They put me in as 5:30-1:30 am. WTF. I got a 7:30 class in the morning tomorrow. I told the managers that, like they cared. PISSED ME THE HELL OFF. That seriously ruined my day, still pissed now. Finally got to leave early around 9:00 thank god. & now writing in this. and finishing up my homework. TODAY WAS A GAY DAY.
The end finally just ended for me tonight. Just got home from working a 8 hour shift. Closing for the first time is a pain especially when the "coolest" manager ends up being the "butthole" for the night. Only towards me though, why? I have no clue. Knowing that I was the only girl there closing, I felt useless. Well. Not really, he just made me feel useless. Anyhow, my whole day? Just working my ass off. Got my first paycheck today. Satisfied? Not really, those two weeks of training wiped me out and what ended up in my hand. I wasn't really feeling it. At least its something, it gets me through life. Got some things straightened out. Found out a friend was a total asshole that I thought he was. =] Good news. Our friendship is cool, BUT since what happened. Happened. I'm still going to watch myself, only because there's a possibilty of something similar that can happen. I'm juss rambling now lol. Haven't started on homework one bit. I won't be able to start on it tomorrow. so lets hope that I have time to finish all of it on Monday. =[ My work is taking my life over. I come to work, not even happy. Isleep. Goodnight.
Man, I haven't updated this thing for hella long. Haven't had the time to do so. >_<>_< Both involving food = making me become one of those crazy picky eaters. LOL and NO Reece, not everything I choose is from mcdonalds. I think the food there sucks, and not even worth the money. Dork. He pissed me off pulling that shit off last night. Whatever though LOL. Happy Bday to him =] Still got love for you lol. Anyhow, Busy busy. Part-time student in the mornings. Working afternoon & evening till 10. Afterwards? Still no break, got that homework to finish. I crash. and when I mean crash I mean KoEd snoring. Yet, I still try to find the time in the world to spend with my love and my beloved friends. Without them, I wouldn't be able to do half of the things that i'm doing now. Sadly, throughout all this work i'm doing, im still in debt. Crazy debt. its all good though. UPDATE: found out how fuckd up one of my use to be close friend is. Hmpf. I'm juss gonna give him his money and remain as aquitances with him. Unbelievable. Right now? I should be doing some homework and rest up for another day of work tomorrow. but hey whatever. I wanna do this blogger. Gotta vent out somehow. *yawns* tired tired. I miss everyone, I miss phu. I feel like I don't have enough time to have that "connection" with everyone. Just to let you guys know. I didn't forget about you guys! lol Welps, I should head off and do what I gotta do. Wish me luck =]